Praise: I am being considered for a financial scholarship opportunity
Prayer: Please pray that I would find grace and favor with the group offering the financial scholarship. Also, that more financial scholarship and work opportunities would present themselves to pay down my “mountain” of student loans.
This is the application I am working with:
Current GPA: 3.821
Degree Program: Master of Divinity/Evangelism and Discipleship
Units Completed at Talbot: 80
Units taking in FA2016: 6 and SP2017: 6
Expected Graduation Date: May 2017
- Please describe your current ministry.
Presently, I serve with the leadership team of Victory House (VH), a men’s residential discipleship ministry with an emphasis on Christ-centered drug, alcohol, and chronic homelessness rehabilitation treatment. My primary responsibilities are to intentionally exercise compassion and mentorship.
Concerning compassion, the practice includes praying for day-to-day for opportunities to effectively comfort, encourage, and support VH residents in their struggles. The on-going desire is to intentionally exercise mercy, heal wounds, lest mention, ultimately, evangelize and disciple residents in committed relationships with Jesus the Christ.
Concerning mentorship, the practice includes intentionally building effective authentic life-giving relationships with VH residents. The on-going desire is to purposefully offer guidance, influence, training, and perspective that contribute to VH residents growing in Christlikeness.
- How do you anticipate serving the cause of Christ when you have completed your Talbot education?
God willing, I plan to serve with a pastoral leadership team committed to growing and reproducing communities of disciples of Christ in the city-centers who are committed to missional as well as incarnational lifestyles. Ideally, a chain of strategically located non-profit coffee houses and hostels would serve as the Holy Spirit epicenters while also funding the community transformation movements.
Also, God willing, I plan to pursue a DMin in either Urban Ministry or Practical Theology in order to further develop my ministry and writing potential. For instance, I have a blog that is gaining a following. My hope in this regard is to, by God’s grace, regularly write and produce short videos of effective practical theology pieces for the high popular/low scholarly audience, then distribute them through social media, with the aim of reaching out, touching, and transforming lives towards Christlikeness via the world wide web.
- Provide a short account of your background and conversion.
In 1998 I made the conscious decision that I wanted to live and die a relatively short life as a methamphetamine addict. I was twenty-four and had been living a double life of as a high functioning addict for nearly nine years. At this points, I was a mild mannered insurance agent by day and bi-sexual clubber methamphetamine addict by night. That day I abandoned my mild manners and committed to being autonomous, a die-hard methamphetamine addicted clubber who openly practiced bi-sexuality. In short haste, I quit my job as an insurance agent and, in just as short haste, opportunities in the adult entertainment industry presented themselves.
What I intended to be a way to make some quick cash to satisfy my most pressing financial obligations, snow-balled into a five-year career and far reaching family on the homosexual side of the adult entertainment industry. I fully gave myself over to a hedonistic lifestyle of methamphetamine addiction, sexual immorality, and a multitude of other self-centered interests. All the meanwhile my mind became darker as the bonds of my addict lifestyle thickened and tightened, mangling my spirit. It was just as Jesus says in John 8:34, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices disobedience to God is a slave to disobedience.”
Even though I had overshot the life I set out for by leaps and bounds, there was absolutely no sense of autonomy with even less hope. I knew that I was missing” something,”, that I was not whole, and I was trying to fill the void with all the wrong stuff. Thankfully, while struggling for hope in that darkness I had a random encounter with a woman as I was running errands in Hollywood, CA in July of 2004. Her presence beamed hope. In retrospect, I now know that the Holy Spirit was brimming through her. She politely asked if I had a minute to spare because she had “something” to share with me. I responded, “Sure why not.”
The woman shared the gospel of Christ with me. I accepted Christ’s offer. That day a stranger on the streets of Hollywood lead me in the prayer that rescued me from despair, renewed my spirit, and changed the course of my life for eternity. In just a matter of days I developed a spiritual hunger for things of God. Specifically, I began attending Bible studies and church services on a regular basis. Interestingly enough, the church I began attending was in my neighborhood, on my daily path. I had passed it a thousand times previously without giving it a thought. At any rate, by November of 2004 I was head over heels in love with Yahweh. More importantly, I became aware of the reality that I had not yet submitted to Christ’s lordship.
The story of Jesus encounter with the rich young ruler weighed heavy on my thoughts. Over the years I had amassed a small fortune of stuff, was successfully crossing over from adult to mainstream entertainment, lived in great neighborhood (#Hollywoodlove), and had many deep relationships with people I loved. Unfortunately, it was all grounded in an identity that was not reconcilable to a life in Christ. Jesus’s call to follow Him out of that life was loud and clear.
So in November of 2004, I made a 180 turn away from that wicked lifestyle and yielded to Christ’s authority. To do otherwise at that point would have been tantamount to rejecting God and consciously choosing to serve Satan, who I had come to know as the plague of heaven and earth. I chose to trust Jesus’s lead which meant walking away from a well-established network of friends, business associates, and opportunities.
Early on I clearly discerned the power and value of a credible testimony of God’s power to transform lives. So I began to pray regularly pray for God to grow, protect, and, most of all, for opportunities to encourage others with my testimony. As my testimony stands, God started my life over from ground zero in November 2004. Daily Bible study, meditations, prayer, and regular participation in ministry keep me on track with Him, i.e. no backsliding into drug addiction, homosexuality, nor fornication. Also, I have been attending the Shoreline Church of San Clemente since May 2005, earned a bachelor’s degree in Organizational Leadership from Biola University, and nearly completed the Master of Divinity at Talbot theological seminary. Plus, in my instance, God has also restored to me a stronger attraction to women. Even more, God has blessed me with the desire to be a husband and father. This is a miracle in itself, being a husband and father never crossed my mind before my life in Christ. Praise God!
In closing, my life is still has its fair share of pains and challenges. There is no escaping the fact that life is complicated. Jesus Christ liberated me from slavery to a hedonistic lifestyle in order that I could become obedient to His ways. In my experience, obedience has been a heavy load, while light at the same time. Aside from being in love with Yah, there is a mysterious deep abiding peace and joy in Christ that make it all worth it.
- May we have permission to share information (from questions 1-3) with donors or on the Talbot website for the future benefit of other students? (We would check with you first before doing so.)
- Please describe your current financial need. Discuss your current debt load, the reason for having debt versus other possible means, and the perceived effect of this debt upon your future ministry goals.
Presently, my financial need for 2016-2017 is $12,750, i.e., the tuition of twelve units, Metrolink commute, and partial living costs, with an outstanding debt load of $39,117. The reason I have debt is that, after much prayer, I received the strong impression from God, which was affirmed by several of my God-fearing mentors, that the next immediate step for me after completing my Bachelor’s in Organizational Leadership in 2011 was to enter a seminary program for further ministry preparation. After even more prayer, my conviction was to give seminary priority by working just enough to cover basic living expenses in order to not completely depend on student loans.
In other words, I have a “mountain” of debt because I am not capable of financially covering the costs of this brand of formal ministry preparation by any other means than loans. Having said that, I willingly stepped into this challenge because I have faith that just as God lead me to this “mountain,” He will also provide means to conquer it in ways that deepen my faith and strengthen my character. If anything, I most often consider my current indebtedness as one of the wisest investments, aside from trusting in Christ, towards eternity that I have ever made..
Concerning the perceived effect on this debt upon future ministry goals, the outstanding balance weighs in heavy on every ministry decision I consider. First and foremost, the last thing I want to do is inadvertently fleece a flock to pay a debt I incurred with the intention of building them up. The next to last thing I want to do is burden someone else with this load in extremely close quarters, i.e, I do not see myself ministering with a wife anytime soon. Therefore, I most often consider, by God’s grace, practicing entrepreneurial models of post-Christendom Church models as a bachelor. Praise God.
- Are you working while going through school? Please describe the relationship between working and going to school at the same time, in terms of time and financial obligation.
Yes, by God’s grace, I have been working all the meanwhile I have been going through school. In terms of time, I have been fortunate enough to work with teams who have been extremely flexible when it comes to my formal education pursuits. Thankfully, I have been able to get time off when needed for course work and, on occasion, more paid hours to cover unexpected living expenses. In terms of financial obligation, until recently,the group I currently work with has generously covered some tuition costs over the years while offering me enough work to cover my boarding and most of my living expenses. Praise God.
Recently, Nicholas Harmon (along with Brian Hwang), was awarded the Louis T. Talbot Memorial Scholarship Award, given to a continuing student preparing for the ministry who has demonstrated academic excellence, exceptional Christian commitment, and zeal for practical ministry.
Also…presently, I am in New York with an Urban research team learning effective Urban Church theories and practices, i.e.,understanding the community and context, psychology, effective ministry models, networks, and ethnographic studies in a World Class city, in order to enhance our contributions to the Church and our neighbors.
Prayers for favor with the New York church representatives that I am contacting to discuss effective Church growth and planting strategies or however the Spirit leads are coveted.
Also…I am meeting with my knxshn site guy in July to revamp the site. Please pray for vision and boldness for effective content as well as design.
soooo….I have not blogged in awhile
mostly because school and work take up 19 hours of my day nearly every day these past months since my last post…not to mention several all nighters…geez…i am getting worked…not griping…just saying.
i am the better for it though…i had the feeling that being enrolled in nine units, serving with the Talbot Associated Student Council Prayer Ministry Chair, TAing the venerable Dr. Rob Price, and ministering with the Victory House Team was going to be challenging…but dang…I have not been this painfully exhausted to give this meaningful thought…fortunately for me…i enjoy being painfully exhausted…and pushing my limits…
at any rate..the lasts few post have taken more thought than what I had originally planned however long ago it was when this blog began…the original plan was to rework some of my Organizational Leadership and Master of Divinity coursework and hang it on the internet…a way for me to stay in contact with what I have formal education on a regular basis because at the time there was not much opportunity to exercise what I had invested so much prayer, time and money into learning…then I started adding raw photos…have I mentioned that I enjoy digital photography?…then I started adding processed images…have I mentioned that I enjoy over-processing perfectly fine raw images?…basically, a little touch of personality here and there…next thing I know, the posts are personal.
…and require some meaningful thought every so often…I still plan to “hang” the coursework but i as i mentioned in a previous post, I am also investigating to see if I have a writing “voice”… somewhere here within me…a story or two…an insight or several…or nothing at all.
but hopefully something…so far video and social media ministry are pinging hard on my radar…maybe even biblical counseling…omg…”Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2 Cor 1:3-4)…the backstory for me and this verse is that God has comforted and is comforting me through various intense pains…and I have gotten to the point, in Christ, where I am able to effectively comfort others…this is new…up until recently, I had been too upset about being uprooted from my neighborhood and “family” in Hollywood ten years ago to be any of any use as a counselor…urban ministry?
anywho, I am just as swamped this Spring 2016 semester to offer anything deep on the personal side….but, thankfully…i still have a couple of years of coursework and ministry proposals to post…as well as years and years images.
…please pray that God would continue to provide, i.e, financially, physically, intellectually, relationally, and spiritually, for this long stretch of formal education that I am committed to in-Christ…also for vision and direction as to where and how I can best serve the God and the Church while faithful ministering the gospel…thanks
HOY! Praise report.. I have totally neglected to mention that yours truly has the privileged honor of serving as Talbot Associated Students Prayer Ministry Chair this Fall 2015 semester. My responsibilities include serving the Talbot community by facilitating prayer amomg its members, praying over submitted prayer requests, and organizing worship/prayer-themed events to edify the Talbot.
Thanks to all of you who have been praying for me regarding work that would allow me to exercise more of my life experience , carry more units, and make payments toward my student loans. My bases are covered for a at least the next four months between working Victory House, Lighthouse Thriftstore, and Talbot AS council. After that, doom…dooM…doOM…dOOM…DOOM! unless God has miracle waiting for me on the other side of December. it could happen.
All the meanwhile, I am still prayerfully cultivating a teaching, speaking, and writing ministry as well as considering a D.Min. program.
This is going to be great!
soooo May 20 of this year….i opined about confessing Christians identifying more with addictions than with Christ victory and trying to find my voice….and how I am reluctant to be the “i used to be all jacked up on Vodka, chronic, and meth guy until Jesus came and got me” guy on a full time basis…mostly because I KNOW HOW MUCH PEOPLE LOVE THEIR POISONS because it took a divine smack down to wake me up….however, it is becoming apparent that I am possessed by an irresistible Spirit-deep passion to speak into the matter of alcohol and drug addictions….afflictions? yes, afflictions.
have I mentioned yet…that in January of this year, while on spiritual retreat (i.e., a supernatural time of rest, reflection, prayer, meditation, rejuvenation, and in this instance redefinition and regrouping) in the Pacific Northwest, i distinctly received a call to amp up my ministry contributions…what does that look like? as I said I was on spiritual retreat, I felt the pull to intentionally disconnect a few degrees from my daily obligations…i had become aware that something was “off”…i was not only burnt out but the bit i was offering was not being well received…ugh…i had gotten mean…who needs that? nobody. long story short, i prayed for an opportunity to get away and refresh…thankfully, God blessed me with me with a second job to pay for a break and time off my from my responsibilities at Victory House (pray for lcfonline.org/victory-house)
anyways…I was on spiritual retreat…reading and meditating in veins of studies of special interest to me…when i came across Bill Hybels article The Art of Self-Leadership…i get to the end of the article and Hybel’s presents the pastoral/leadership challenge to nurture, develop, and protect the Church…pastoring…i gloss over it…that has nothing to do with me…i am a goof ball teacher with an inclination towards Christ-centered social entrepreneurship…pastoring had not ever come on my radar…next article…ehhh, next article…next article?…
huh? and doh!…the Spirit camped me on Hybel’s challenge…what?…pastors usually have all kinds of people flocking around them and stuff to give them…seems to me one needs a flock and stuff to give them in order to pastor…>>>me: “Hello. There has been some confusion. I have got no flock of people or anything to offer them.”>>>God: “Well, take a quick inventory.>>>me: ” Well, I love you, the Church, my neighbors, and, I guess I have my testimony.”>>>>God: “I can work with that. Bring it. I will handle the rest.”>>>>me: “hmmm. And you are sure you have the right guy? You know I can be kind of stingy sometimes.”>>>God: “…” >>>>me: “Yah sure. I am down.”….so now here I am processing that divine encounter with my greater life experience.
my long story short…I lived many years as a club drug addict, practiced homosexuality, and indulged many other self centered pursuits…I can actually still recall the day in 1998 when I consciously decided that I wanted to live and die a relatively short life as an addict…at the time, anything i believed to be freeing and fulfilling…all the meanwhile my mind became darkened to God as the spiritual bondage of my lifestyle thickened and tightened…mangling my spirit…It was just as Jesus says in John 8:34, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices disobedience to God is a slave to disobedience.”…hoy!..overshot the life I set out for by leaps and bounds…yet, there was absolutely no sense of freedom to my life with even less hope.
thankfully….in July of 2004 i had a life-giving divine appoint with a stranger on the streets who shared the gospel of Christ with me…i received the invitation to be forgiven for my rebellion against God…experienced a spiritual awakening…In just a matter of days I responded to an outreach at a Church in my neighborhood that I had not ever noticed. I began attending Bible studies and Church services on a regular basis, which changed my heart and attitude. In November of 2004 I became aware of the reality that I now had peace with God, been forgiven for all my disobedience, and that I had been adopted into the family of God. I also became acutely aware that my lifestyle was heading in the opposite direction of God.
I made a 180 turn and surrendered my life to the authority of God’s word. To do otherwise at this point would be rejecting God and denying the newfound hope for life I had. It was hope in God that gave me strength to persevere through some tremendously painful life transformations.
I have yet to be disappointed by leading out with my hope in God. The day I made the decision to turn my life over to Jesus, I was given a new life. It is just like Jesus says in John 8:31-32, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” I have been holding to the Scriptures for nearly ten years now. In that time, Jesus has set me free from addictions to club drugs, Vodka, pornography, and money. He has also set me free to pursue a life in Him that I would never have otherwise. Such as a getting bachelors degree, attending Talbot theological seminary, and becoming a seminary servant-leader…and prayerfully ministering Christ’s victory to addicts
For the record, even though I have experienced the spiritual awakening, i have more than my share of pains and challenges on a daily basis…. There is no escaping the fact that life is challenging. Jesus Christ liberated me from the all sorts of bondage of in order that I could become a slave to His ways… Life “in Christ” is a heavy responsibility while light at the same time because of the deep abiding spiritual peace and joy of Jesus the Christ. Unlike, Satan who only wants to bind and devour my life, everything about serving Christ is liberating and life given. Even the pains and challenges.
what the heck does any of this have to do with May 20, 2015 and Wildwood Calvary chapel?…well, i was visiting my younger sister in Yucaipa a couple of weeks ago….usually I pop into Wildwood Calvary chapel when I am in the area. ..this particular Sunday Pastor Chris spoke on Rom 6:3-123…a passage that communicates God’s position on my 5/20 gush…basically, followers of Christ ought to be known by their pursuit of holiness rather than by rebellious behavior, i.e. “Do not let sin (e.g., addictions) control the way you live, do not give in to sinful desires (e.g., um….addictions). Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin (e.g.,…uh….how about addictions). Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin (…..addiction) is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. In stead , you live under the freedom of God’s grace, i.e. God’s supernatural empowerment.”Romans 6:12-14…
there it is…a body cannot have two masters…it is either Christ or the addiction…”…those who are still under the control of their sinful (addict) nature can never please God.But you (INSERT NAME HERE) are not controlled by your sinful (addict) nature. You are care controlled by the Spirit IF you have the Spirit of God living in you…the Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you…therefore, you have no obligation to do what your sinful (addict) nature urges you to do. For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful (addict) nature, you will live.”Romans 8:8, 9, 11, 12,13…according to this passage there are eternal stakes to be constantly considered.
DISCLAIMER…this entire line of reasoning stems from godly rather human wisdom….”I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead….” Ephesians 1:19…human wisdom may say you or I can never be free from the power or even allure of club drugs but God says otherwise…but i need to digress because i this is a blog not a dissertation…
this is important…basically, playing by the enemies rules you will lose every time, even when it seems like you are winning…
almost done….anyone who knows me knows that I have no qualms with being in close quarters with folks with incurable diseases…it is the defeated hearts and broken spirits at a Christian gathering that i had an issue with…that is all wrong…overwhelming victory is readily available to anyone who obediently follows Christ (Romans 8:37)…again i gotta digress…
LASTLY…as soon as I got back from my spiritual treat, having committed to bump up my ministry contributions….i lost my job as Victory House manager because my immediate director decided he wanted to go in a different direction with job….gained the Talbot AS council Prayer ministry chair…and have been intentionally trying to figure out my long-term spiritual stake in the body of Christ…because I want to get to working it for all its worth “in Christ.”…one of my advisors suggested that I begin using the knXshn blog as a storyboard….i like that….so now you are part of the process
being in limbo sucks…plus, i have a penchant for….DRAMA….but I really feel unstable right now. no place..no people…pray for spiritual wisdom, conviction, and courage for your brother Nick…my faith is getting too strung out for my own good…thnx.
Praise: Thanks to God’s provision and all the support of my church Fam, as of this summer I have completed 61 units of the 98 unit Talbot School of Theology Master of Divinity program and am on track to complete another 9 units Fall 2015 semester. Also, over the years God has cultivated within me a spirit-deep passion for discipling men and training leaders with an emphasis on biblical manhood, sexuality, and spiritual formation.
Praise report: God opened the doors for me to substitute an Urban Transformation for the Intro to World Missions course that is part of the regular M. Div. curriculum. I found rare favor there through a lot of prayer and reasoning being that I have learned most of what the Intro to World Missions course offers by way of informal and formal education. Also I am pretty stoked that my car is still getting me around considering it was recently two separate mechanics pronounced a death sentence over it.
Prayer: The Urban Transformation course is an accelerated 3 week class and it is kicking my butt. Please pray that I finish strong while not letting my other responsibilities fall to the wayside….i am sooo tired right now ;). I also I trying to find the balance right now between Talbot, knxshn, and Victory House. Prayer discernment and direction are appreciated.
Praise reports: 1) God opened the doors for me to take an Urban Transformation course over the summer. I am totally stoked on the curriculum. 2) I am registered for fall classes at Talbot. 3) We are still on track to shoot a testimony video this summer.
Prayer request: 1) Discipline with time-management during summer school. 2) For a day job that allows me to use more of my life experience and formal education. 3) God would provide a way for me to complete my M. Div. in the next two years.
Interesting…I pray walk or run a few blocks of our Capistrano Beach neighborhood at least twice a week. I am really casual about it so as not to draw any attention to myself. Its not like I stop and kneel in front of peoples homes or anything. I just walk and pray for the families that live on the streets. I wear earbuds so people will think I am lip syncing to my music. I tried it once without the earbuds and it felt really creepy. Like anybody who passed me in their car thought I was crazy and talking to myself. I do alot of thinking outside of the box, is that crazy, i dunno, but I do not talk to myself. I mutter sometimes when I am thinking aloud BUT that is totally different.
Anyhow…Jeremiah 29:7 “And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.”…so this is what I have been doing for months. Praying for God to preserve families, save marriages, bring the prodigals home, deliver people from addictions, gross sin, etc.
Next thing I know…Tonight I found myself at a Christian “recovery meeting” down the street from my house sharing my testimony of how God delivered me from, among many other highly anti-social and dysfunctional behaviors, alcoholism and multiple drug addictions (#methsucks) over ten years ago. It was interesting because I usually avoid those places like the plague. Mostly because they typically choose to believe they have some incurable disease that they have to learn to manage BUT rarely ever get under complete control. I agree to disagree. The gospel saves and heals but you have to be ALL in for it work it ALL out.
The gospel…Buying one hundred percent into the gospel has been the best decision I have ever made in my life. Every instance of Jesus or his disciples healing someone in the New Testament is exactly that, instantaneous healing and strengthening. No instance of someone ministering to demon before exorcising it. No instances of people being half-healed and sent of to physical therapy for wholeness. No instance of Jesus raising anyone from death to half-life then sending them of to a eight step program to gain full life. Sure, in the case of someone such as myself,who stayed drunk or strung out on club drugs for fifteen years, there is much to unlearn and learn. Out with old in with the new. A three step program of belief, repentance, and sanctification. Obedience to Christ lessons, that is what’s up. Option A = worldly wisdom that promotes alcoholism and addiction as an incurable conditions. Option B = Godly wisdom is proven to heal and instantaneous strengthening all those who believe and faithfully follow Jesus. option B for me please and thank you. Did the gospel make life easier? Nope. Did the gospel set me free alcoholism and drug addictions? Yep. Was that the best part? Nope. Being reconciled to God is the best part. We were made to worship. Trying to feel the void with anything else is useless and addicting.
no turning back…In my case, Jesus gave me away out of a wicked lifestyle and I closed the back door behind me. Do I still talk to some my old friends? Yes. Family is family. There are just some family activities that I do not participate in or, rather, do not get invited to. Ok. No one invites me anywhere. That is that. anywho….have I ever mentioned that I used to have a career in the adult entertainment industry?…Well, I did and now I don’t. Why am I mentioning this? At one point my life was all about money, drugs, and sex. I have never even considered turning back to pick that up where I left off…lol..probably not an option anyhow. I had gotten skanky towards the end. #RIPxxxxxxxxxx (i am still on the fence about sharing my old screen name. it in not hard to dig up but….ahem…no turning back, even though I am in my forties and have not made over $12 an hour in the last ten years…no turning back, even if worldly wisdom says I have an incurable disease…no turning back, even though I have not had sex in over ten years. I received Christ in July 2004, submitted to his lordship in November 2004, and have not turned back…wait…I believe the term is backslid. Whatever. I have not done either. Either way, I have a great life in Christ, Church fam, and promise of eternal life with God that I fight for even with this #stinkydeadmanonmyback…plus, I have also been a fulll time student for eight of the last ten years. the sacrifice in income is well worth it, even though it is sometimes excruciatingly painful.
Praise God…soooo….Jesus Christ healed me, strengthens me, and daily sanctifies me more and more into His image. It is only because God’s initiative, grace, and Church that I have sense of enough to not only remain sober minded but to live with purpose and hope. The world is harsh. God is demanding. Life is not easy. That is the bottom line that I do the most business with. Life is not easy but God delivers and provides.
this is my heart bleeding… for my neighbors. there was a big group in that room tonight. probably forty people at least. it hurts my soul to hear professing believers identify more as addicts than as followers of Christ. obedience is not easy but doable.Proverb blast… a righteous man or woman can fall seven times and get back up just as many (24:16). i am 99.9999% percent positive that this was meant to be an encouragement for someone to get back up after falling rather than license to abuse the God’s grace #cheapgrace #sanctificationgap
this is me…trying to find my voice. I really do not want to be the “i used to be all jacked up on Vodka, chronic, and meth guy until Jesus came and got me” guy on a full time basis. but tonight I was…errr..am? prayerfully, someone there received some hope in God from my story tonight. prayerfully, someone out there will receive some hope in God for themselves or loved one that they have nearly given up on. The gospel is not broken. Jesus’ blood has not been watered down. The Holy Spirit is not on hiatus…As an encouragement, I have over ten years soberminded with a clean testimony and counting. Do I think I am perfect because of this? Nope. but i do not think like an addict, behave like an addict, or use like an addict. therefore….I am not an addict. This is a modern day miracle coming from someone who, at one point in his life, was an #infamousaddict and is now working hard to cultivate a career as a Christian speaker, writer, and leadership trainer.
pray for me…my prayer Talbot prayer group is on break for the summer. I need to find a prayer/spiritual direction group for the summer . ASAP. also, for Godly wisdom, conviction, and courage to be the man God is calling me to be, even when that disagrees with who I or someone else wants me to be…
can I blog like this? i have a discipline of not phoning, texting, blogging, or facebooking when I am excited. tonight excited me. i am not excited now. but I was earlier.